Hi fellow felines,
CoCo from Calgary Canada again (you know of purraholics fame?).
I'm writing you to get this off my chest as its been bothering
me since my humans brought those two THINGS home. The THINGS I
am referring to are twin babies and they are just about the most
disgusting and abhorrant things I have ever laid my two cat eyes
After putting up with these things in MY home for over two months
now, it occurred to me that I should write my fellow felines with
my useful tips on how to make your lives (all 9 of them) bearable
once these creatures enter your house.
- Always hang around the kitchen when its formula time, some
always hits the floor and tastes pretty good in lieu of a good
bowl of cream
- Make sure to stake your territory all over again by marking
the new crib, bassinet and stroller, all the places that these
invaders will be spending most of their time
- Whenever a baby is near you on the floor, keep a distance
of at least 2 feet otherwise you risk a small fist closing painfully
on your fur with a grip of death ( much like the neighbourhood
- Never fall asleep under the crib or you might mistakenly be
locked inside the nursery for the night. THEN you must put up
with constant sleep deprivation as these things wake every two
hours and scream bloody hell.
- You must at all costs exert yourself to look extremely pathetic
and sulky in front of your humans. This always results in some
feelings of regret and sympathy and will usually get you a rubdown
or a special treat.
- Lastly, never attempt to make a friendly gesture towards these
smelly creatures (such as sitting peacefully on top of one)as
it might be misinterpreted as an attack by the human population
and will result in quite a melee of human screaming and shooing
until you are forced to leave the room altogether.
Hopefully other cats out there can make use of these tips if
they ever find themselves in this situation. Of course these tips
will have to be updated once they become mobile and can chase
Well, thats all for now, back to my favorite bed, the empty