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My name is The Trollop and I live in Wiltshire in the United Kingdom.
Let me tell you a story.
I moved in here as a last ditch attempt to save myself some 18
months ago and decided I liked it so much that I would stay.
I don't really remember much before I moved in here but I know
that I had an accident and that it was very cold. I was having
trouble eating my food because I had a broken jaw and believe
me you can get very hungry trying to suck the juice out of insects
in the middle of winter. So eventually I found this house that
already had cats, they looked well fed and healthy so I decided
to swallow my pride and beg for help.
I only had to sit on the door step for a few hours before someone
put out some nice mushed up meat for me, (you have to train them
right from the start you know ). I wouldn't let Cathy (thats my
human sisters name) look at my jaw at first, but after a few days
of eating well and sleeping in a nice warm box I felt that I could
trust her. Big mistake, the the first thing she did was take me
to the blessed vets! Not only did they give me a jab of something
for my jaw ( an auntie bite otic?) but they also decided to wash!!
me to treat my ringworm!!! I'd been cultivating that for ages
and it was just getting nice and putrid.
I remember them talking at the vets about me. The Vet said that
I was very old, probably 15 to 20 human years, they seem to think
that this is something special and that because of that I shouldn't
be put to sleep for my jaw mending. Personally I don't find my
jaw stops me doing anything, that includes going to sleep, although
have have to say loosing my last remaining tooth last week was
something of a blow.
I am now living in the lap of luxury, unfortunately i still have
to share the house with Blondin and Jones (the two healthy looking
felines I mentioned at the beginning). I have however managed
to consolidate my position and all it takes to get the bed to
myself or Cathy's lap is a well aimed swipe with an unsheathed
paw. So the moral of this story is that if life looks bleak just
find a likely looking doorstep and look pathetic, you'll be amazed
at how life can turn around.
That's all for now folks. I would be pleased to receive any letters,
my eyesight is not too bad but please don't send any soundbites
as I am stone deaf.
Love and licks to you all
The Trollop
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